Dear Mr. Jesus.......pt 1

"See Brenda, who is she? She's holding his hand!"...."Hi daddy!!" I said as I jumped in his arms. My daddy and I were always very close. Alot of people always said he didn't give my sister and I the attention we needed from him, but he was ALWAYS working. At least that's what I remember. After a few sweet minutes of some good old fashioned lovin from my daddy, he took a deep breath and introduced his new love, Roberta. Otherwise known to us as "Bertie". After the introductions we loaded up the car and that's when daddy informed me and Brenda that we had something he needed to talk to us about. Oh lordy, what in the world could it be. I was surely hoping I hadn't done anything wrong, I was so glad to see him and happy to be going home. I don't remember the exact words that daddy used, but the jist of it was, that....I had myself a brand new mommy! And if that wasn't a big enough kicker I also had myself a 2 year old step brother waiting for me at home! *THUD* Like I said, I was 9 years old at the time, and I am old now and am on to many meds to be able to remember all the words spoken, and all the thoughts thought, but I'm sure my head must have been spinning.

My daddy, bless his heart. He should have had sons cause he sure didn't know what to do with me and my sister. To be honest with you, I just don't think my dad was cut out to be a parent at all, not looking back at it now. But he tried, for the most part. But, he didn't really try as hard as long as Nanny, or one of the stepmothers were around. And I can think of so much now, to, that he turned his head to, just to keep the peace with his other half. I thought I was supposed to be the most important thing in his life? Oh God, what am I saying???? I WAS the most important thing in his life. Period.

"Terrie, this is your little brother, Richard!" He was kinda cute, and little. And when he talked the words didn't sound much like words so I figured I could make fun of him under my breath. But the best thing about all of it was.....we were gonna stay there and live with Nanny and Daddy Jack! Yes, all of us, right there in the same house together! What I thought was wonderful would turn out to be something so explosive that it would almost destroy my family. Oh, and did I mention that Bertie was *21*? That's what I said, 21. My dad on the other hand was almost 35. She was alright. My dad was 6 ft. 2 inches, she was 5 ft. 2 inches. She had red hair and freckles. I liked her, she was very nice (at that time).

The extended family that followed was not so nice though, at least not the adults. Bertie's dad (Earl) was an ex-marine, and he never forgot it for one second. Mean that man was, nothing but thru and thru mean. To everyone, especially his youngest, his son, Stanley. He had that boy so afraid of him that Stanley would occasionally poop his pants in fear, literally. Stanley was a year or so younger than me, and even at my age I felt so sorry for him, and his older sister Roxanne. They became *friends* with Brenda and I not long after we all met. We spent so much time out there at their house that it was either sink or swim baby!

It was just a short time after the beginning of all this that we were informed that Bertie was gonna have us a little brother or sister! I know that Nanny must have been having a herd of cows over this one because her and Bertie just couldn't find middle ground on ANYTHING. Not really sure if it was because daddy was Nanny's *baby*, or maybe because Bertie was #3 and it was getting a little old, or maybe because Bertie had a bit of a 'tude with Nanny. I mean after all, 21 years old and she was a married woman with a family. She didn't have to listen to anyone, even if she was living in their house. She started having a 'tude with my sister and I right after the "new wore off". But, this was never done in front of daddy, she was always just a kind and caring person in front of daddy. Ugh! What did I expect though? She never called me stupid in front of him, or slapped me in front of him, or made me stay outside all day when he was home. She never gave Richard snacks and treats in front of me all the while letting him stick his tongue out at me while daddy was home. She never made me feel like the dirt on the bottom of her shoes while dad was home. She treated Brenda the same way, only a little worse. But Brenda had a mind of her own, and she took it the first couple of years.....but then everything in the world changed. Everything.