She Loved Me Not.

It was cold, snow on the ground...typical winter time weather. We lived in a trailer house, parked in between other trailer houses. I was 18 months old, my sister (Brenda) was 3 and my half brother (JC) was 5. I can imagine he thought he was quite the "big boy" because I was told that he tried to cook for us. We were found 3 days later, we had no clothes on, no shoes on, and my diaper was stuck to my bottom, (back then there were only cloth diapers in use) and the doctor had to have to soak it off right there in his office. Can you grasp the amount of pain there must have been with all of that. My bottom and my peepee must have been ate totally up from the urine and feces. Damn. We were all so hungry, and my sister had developed "rickets" in her legs. Daddy told me how he felt when he got the news there in Iceland while serving his country in the United States Air Force. What are you gonna do? Daddy could only trust that his mother, my "Nanny" would take care of us until he was able to fly home.
I have thought of myself so many times in that house alone with my brother and sister for 3 days, wandering around, calling for "momma". Crying. I know I must have cried alot, I was just a baby, we were all just babies. How confused we had to have been. How alone. How could she? Dear God, how could she just walk out the door, leave us in that house alone? She didn't know how long it would take for us to be found. She didn't know if we would set the house on fire, or wander outside and die from the cold. She had no idea, so how could she?
I'll tell you how she could. She had a very important appointment she had to keep. She already had her room reserved, her meals were to be taken care of and her days planned out in advance. She had checked herself into the Vinita Mental Institution. The largest and most serious mental institution in Oklahoma. My mother had lost her mind. At least she had the good sense to take of herself? Right? To make sure she was gonna have a warm bed, 3 hot squares, clean under pants. I know I sound bitter, and you would think that after all these years of my life of knowing what the circumstances were, that I wouldn't. But, there is waaay more to the story that proceeds throughout my life that will most likely make you feel the same way. We'll see.